Rejection

20 days and I have already learned so much. 20 days, and I have a changed mindset. 20 days, and I am ready to make this, the best year of my life.

In my 21 years of living in this world, I have realized that rejection besides the fear of failure, the one thing is that keeps people from achieving their dreams. Rejection can be defined as the action of rejecting, or the act of being rejected. The rejection, I am talking about in this post refers to the latter; the act of being rejected. I think many people often confuse rejection with failure. However, the two are very distinct. Because you see, rejection is no failure. Failure is giving up. Whereas everyone gets rejected, and it is how you handle rejection that determines where you will end up.

Personally, I have never been good at dealing with rejection, and it is now that I realize that. I have come to the realization that moving to the Netherlands has impacted my life in many ways, and not all positive. When I was living in Africa many years ago, I never had to fear rejection. I was always accepted the way I was, and I was an openminded, smart and joyful child. When I moved to the Netherlands, I changed in so many ways. I became a person different from the one I was in Africa, often as the only black child in class, I felt that I had to adapt myself to the rest. I had to change and behave as was expected from me. I lost the openness I had when living in Africa, and became afraid of speaking out. As curious as I was and am, I became afraid of asking, not because I was afraid of the answer, rather the feeling of rejection. And thus, I kept my mouth shut. I always had something to say, but I never said it. And today I can assure you, that there is no greater agony than having to bear untold stories inside you.

If there is one thing I know for sure, then it is that when people are truly determined, they can overcome anything. For this year I decided that I wanted to become the person I know, I was meant to be. The person that is not afraid of speaking out, the one that knows that she doesn’t have to change herself to be accepted. The one, that knows that she should not live for people’s acceptance, that she can do whatever the hell she wants, and that no one, and no rejection can keep her from achieving her dreams. Basically, I wanted to become myself, and in my attempt of doing so I got inspired and came to understand that rejection does not mean that one is not good enough, but that others just failed to notice you. Also, I have come to understand that it is okay to fear. Sometimes it is okay to be rejected, however, it is never okay to change the person you are. just because you want to fit in. Because you think you have to, because really; you don’t. One should always strive to be or become their truest selves. Never, let no one convince you otherwise, and know that it is by being yourself that you really can make a change in your life and, in the world. You can not live a happy life when you are busy living one that is based on others approval or disapproval of yours.  You must understand that just because you are different does not mean that you will be rejected. You being different in any way, is what makes you unique. It is the beauty within you.

I am sharing this because maybe, just like me there might be some people who are or have struggled with the fear of rejection or something else. I wish for all to know that we can overcome our fears, that we can become the person we dream of becoming. We just must have the courage of identifying, understanding and eventually facing our fears. And in doing so I want to advise you not compare yourself with anyone, instead, compete with yourself and try to become excellent at whatever you are doing. Be it overcoming your fears, being more successful in life or whatever you are after. I know you can; because I am going to face my fears and become the person I am meant to be. I am not going to bear the agony of not speaking out anymore. And if I can do that, then you most certainly also can.

Let this be our best year.

Peace

PS. do not hesitate to share your thoughts with me, in the comments or via mail 🙂

Be unapologetically you

Life is so beautiful, however sometimes I feel like we waste our potential by living someone else’s dreams instead of our own. I often say that in this world it does not matter what one does or doesn’t do, because people will always talk. And as long as we keep listening to other people’s voices, we will never attain our true potential nor real happiness. In order for one to achieve true happiness, I believe that is imperative to do what you want. What you believe in, what you truly desire. Do not sacrifice the person you are or want to be, just because you want to be accepted or liked by others. To not live a life of regrets it is important to be unapologetically you. Don’t be afraid of the person you are, embrace it, love it and Express yourself the best you can. Because life is beautiful when you are you.

Peace!

Salmon with plantain

You know that feeling when you have been craving something for days or as in my case for weeks and then you final decide satisfy yourself by just cooking that one meal? Well if you’re not familiar with that feeling, then I can assure you it’s a great one. However, just to be clear the craving part is not what’s great, but once you get that meal it is so worth it.So I hear you wonder, what meal is this girl been craving for so long? Honestly it is nothing too special. Over the years I have developed a kind of love for salmon. However while living in my family home I never realized how expensive it was and I could have it quit regularly. Unfortunately, when I became a student I had to learn about and accept the harsh reality on the price of salmon. It really is expensive, or at least for me as a student it is. So sometimes I would go to the supermarket or market, look at these beautiful salmons, take it in my hands and then think, is this really what I want? I mean what I get for that price is not that much, so I guess could better go for some chicken (I love chicken) and vegetables. The point I want to make is I won’t choose to buy something different than salmon.But yesterday, after having a long 2 weeks of deadlines, I decided it was time to please my belly. And pleased I was. I came up with this easy yet amazing recipe that I’m going to share with you. If you love salmon I’m sure you will love this.Recipe salmon with plantain:Cooking time: 35 minIngredients marinade:– Black pepper- chilli pepper (powder)- garlic powder- spice mix fish– dried parsley- oregano spice- olive oil/sunflower oil- salt- seasoning mixSo what you basically is, you take a bowl and but all the above mentioned spices in it. Then you ad the oil and mix it together. I would advise you to put everything according to your liking. Also depending on the amount of people you’re cooking for. Be considered of the fact that the spice mix fish is salty on it’s own, so you might not want to use much salt. Also make enough of this marinade as you will need it for the sauce.Ingredients sauce: – leftover marinade- leeks *(as much as you like this is the basis for this sauce)- 1 grated garlic- 1/2 onion- 1/2 tomato- olive/sunflower oil- lemon juiceAfter you have baked the salmon according to you liked. You take it out pan and put the above mentioned beside de lemon juice in pan and bake it for about 3 minutes. You might add some extra black pepper and garlic powder, depending on your liking. After the 3 minutes you can add the lemon juice stir everything and then but the salmon in the sauce 1 minute should be good enough to infuse the sauce into the salmon.Ingredients plantain:– plantainThis is an easy step, tou just need to bake the plantain to your liking. I like mine gold brown.Ingredients side salad:– Avocado- 1/2 tomato- onion *(to your liking)- aroma- black pepper- salt- dried parsley- lemon juiceFor this step you cut and then put the ingredients in a bowl and mix it all together.* bonus sauce ingredients:- mayonnaise- ketchup- sambal- leek leftoverMix all together in a small bowl and serve with your meal.As you can see I really treated my self yesterday. The meal was just delicious . An eat tip is to use some lemon with the salmon it is really good.

Is there still hope in the world?

After the lattest events in New Zealand and Utrecht, I found myself wondering what has happened to us people. And for a moment I thought that hope was lost. We have become people who seeking understanding through media instead of doing proper research. we do not try to connect with each other instead we waste our time and energy harming each other. It is a really sad reality if you think about it. We people have the potential to do so much good in this world, however we choose for that what is bad.

I generalizing, not because I belief that every single one of u is bad, but because a lot of bad is happening nowadays and I belief that we as a society can do so much better. In the video you will hear my thoughts regarding what has happened in those countries.

And if you wonder, yes I still despite all belief that there is hope in this world that there is more good than bad, that we can do better.

rejection as part of life

I have found rejection to be a very imporant topic, and as such have decided to post this video as an updated version of my previous blogpost on rejection; in which I wrote about my personal experience with rejection. click on the on rejection to read the post:

rejection

This video consists of the main points of the post on rejection which I found very interesting and worth sharing.